


You can have Tokyo

by icecreamsuki



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 11:49:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icecreamsuki/pseuds/icecreamsuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending a year in Tokyo with Sho, Ohno decided it was time to leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You can have Tokyo

**Author's Note:**

> written in Ohno's POV  
> inspired by the song Manhattan by Sara Bareilles.

You can have Tokyo. I know it’s for the best. The alarm has set off unnecessarily as I prepared pancakes that would turn cold one last time. My eyes swept around the apartment – lightless, lifeless. Somehow, I have gotten used to the dark. Without a wink of sleep, I faded. 

You can have Tokyo. I know that's what you want. The schedules followed up to the last second, people clad in meticulously pressed suits, formal and focused discussions on relevant topics, countless meals and hours of sleep foregone - it had become a lifestyle. Between the two of us, it is only you who can adapt to such. Perhaps I am to blame, and I am sorry.

You can have Tokyo, the land where dreams are single-mindedly pursued, where room for distractions do not exist, where text messages are left unanswered, where a thirty second phone call was a mere nuisance. Perhaps it was a flicker in the lighting or my weary mind playing tricks on me, but I couldn't help but perceive annoyance in those eyebrows. Perhaps my timing was wrong. But then again, it was never right. 

You can have Tokyo. I'll settle for the countryside - where early morning greetings are marked by warm smiles and not formality, where skyscrapers do not block my view of birds - birds that are aware of their destination, doubtless. Oh, how I envy them. I have grown jaded from too many doubts. 

As I take this solitary walk, the blue hour before sunset to guide me as I tread this two-way street, eerily quiet unlike the Tokyo I know. It felt like a portal between two worlds - a past and a future. The blue surroundings punctuated my melancholy - a heavy reminder of the choice that has already been made. It is minutes before sunrise leaving me time to turn back. I won’t.

I thought I can share Tokyo. The backpack on my shoulders somehow felt the same as a year ago. It was strange how it weighed the same for if relationships constitute give and take, it didn't make any sense. I gave you a part of me. The highs and lows - I took them all in. Perhaps I have gradually gotten accustomed to the baggage that I didn't notice its weight. Until now. 

You can have Tokyo. The one-way ticket I bought a week before, crumpled by indecision but now straightened out and placed snugly - safely in the left breast pocket of my shirt. Standing on the platform, staring at my feet that led me here, a pair of laughter came to my senses, intermingling to a beautiful symphony of lightness and simply being. How many days, weeks, and months has it been since we last shared anything? 

You can have Tokyo. The cityscapes are gradually blurring into a past I'll leave behind, into a mere cherished memory. Missing the times when there was another set of footsteps beside mine, when a familiar shadow overlaps mine and extends amidst the sunset. 

Tucked safely in the front pocket of my pants, my phone is with me, and my number with you.

Will you notice that I'm gone? 

Will you miss me too?


End file.
